Ah, Monday at last!

I have to tell you.......my daughter has an amazing little voice. The kids' Christmas choir at church had their little performance yesterday during both services. Of course, Aidan played with his sleeves and rocked back and forth into the boy next to him and sang maybe every 6th word. Typical. But, Darby had what she called a "solo with Titus." I told her that it's actually a duet since she's singing with another person, but she feels VERY strongly that it was a solo - I pick my battles and this just wasn't worth it.

I have obviously had a rough week and I was feeling very "why me?" yesterday morning and I think at that moment, God decided to touch my heart. During first service it was just Scott and I there (our family all came to the second service) She got up to sing her solo/duet and I could NOT believe the voice that this child has considering her father and I can't carry a tune if our lives depended on it. Of course, it's a 7 year old voice, but several people turned around and looked at us and said "Wow!" Of course Mommy-pride took over and the tears started to well. But, I think at that moment I realized that it's not HER voice, it's her GIFT from God. Just like what He gives me - I can HANDLE things. I can HANDLE what comes at me because it's not based on MY strength, it's based on HIS. If I could let go and know that I am not in control.......EVER......I think I can get through these things. I think that I need to remind myself of that all the time.

My friend, Anne, just posted on one of my favorite verses in the Bible "Be still, and know that I am God." I guess sometimes you like the way something sounds, but if you really dig into it and apply it, it has SO much more meaning than you can understand. I have a really hard time being still. I have a really hard time just knowing that God is God. I am not. I am not in control. I am not the boss. I am not the one who makes things happen. And, I am not the one who picks me up when I feel like I just can't handle anything, anymore, ever. I cannot rely on me anymore. If you like to read, James - our youth minister, gave me a really good book called I Am Not But I Know I AM. It has all of these principles in it. I guess I hadn't really applied what I had read until yesterday.

Sorry, to get into all of that. I guess it's just easier to get these things out there. To just say them. Maybe that makes it more real?

I have to add, that before the services yesterday morning. It was about 7:30 and we were on our way there, so we were all in our "I really didn't want to get up this early" moods. Darby all of a sudden said "Mommy, do you think we could just have me sing and maybe get rid of all of the other kids. I COULD just do the whole thing one big solo." I was hoping she just got up on the wrong side of the bed, but I think I could possibly be raising a future diva. Yeesh.